Recently I was told I may have bipolar disorder and was promptly put on, you guessed it, antipsychotics. Now something about the name makes antipsychotics sound really scary, or rather, the person taking them sounds really scary, crazy even. However, I can assure you, I’m not crazy……
So here’s my:
How to Most Effectively Be on Antipsychotics
- Name drop. Name dropping of all sorts is definitely key to your success in taking antipsychotics. The great thing is everyone will think you’re crazy because they have associated “antipsychotics” with “psycho” and instantly think you are actually like the murderer from Psycho. Although this may seem unappealing it is actually quite useful, and fun to, as stated much earlier, name drop. In a line for pharmaceuticals? Casually say you have to get your antipsychotics. Boom. In a car with a bunch of people who think they’ve out-weirded you? Antipsychotics. Meet a new person you don’t want to talk to? Antipsychotics. Want to act like a complete moron? Antipsychotics.
- Take your pill bottle with you everywhere so that people actually think you’re mildly neurotic. It’s fun.
- Loudly announce that you’ve forgotten to take your antipsychotics and must leave at once anytime you’re doing something you don’t want to do. Meeting? Antipsychotics. Ex-boyfriend’s mother? Antipsychotics. Ex-boyfriend? Forget the drugs. Run.
- Make sure to know every single side effect of your particular antipsychotic so that you can name them when conversation dies down. Nothing to talk about? Well surely you want to know about my risk for tardive dyskinesia.
- Last, but certainly not least, ignore all of the above and handle your medicine however you want. If you want it to be a secret, no one needs to know. If you want to write an entire blogpost about it *cough cough*, then do it. Just remember: take your meds.
Now that you know all you could possibly need to know about how to appropriately use your antipsychotics you may get back to the previously scheduled program, but remember, that girl in the picture? She takes antipsychotics too.