Today was relatively good. I woke up, went to a family friend’s house, played with a baby, and met up with a friend from high school. My mood was okay, my appetite was okay, etc etc. Then BAM. Like a ton of bricks I was suddenly having a complete mental breakdown; see also: existential crisis, anxiety attack.
Of course, not only does this effect me, but my family, as they promptly tried to make it better with consolation, hugs, and invading my personal space 😉 (and in my brother’s case wearing my boots on his hands because what could possibly be more entertaining than that? Oh right! Wacking things with a stick to the beat of my Vampire Weekend album!).
I feel like as sufferers of mental illness we spend so much time invested in caring for the emotions and feelings of our family and friends, that we neglect to care for ourselves. I tell you, Leonardo DiCaprio may not have an Oscar yet, but each and every single sufferer of mental illness deserves one for the immense effort that goes into pretending you’re okay for the people you love. We are obviously the best actors in the world. In fact, really we should all rush the business. If we can pretend we’re okay, we can do pretty much anything.
Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes you cry so much you feel like you might vomit. Sometimes you have literally no idea what you want to do as a career and have a personality disorder so you have an existential crisis. BUT, when it’s all over you’ll still be the same person, at least you should be, unless you spontaneously turn into someone else, in which case please do tell me, I’d love to hear.
For the picture I chose a picture of when life doesn’t suck. That’s what I’m holding on to.