How to Cheat your Gluten-free Diet

For almost two years now I have been gluten free for a conglomeration of reasons: it makes me eat more and I have been underweight for years, I am less cranky and it’s elimination helps me to manage my moods, and finally it just makes me feel better.

The problem with being gluten free and gluten sensitive is that, well, there are two main ones that I see:

  1. People think that if you’re not Celiacs then you’re a complete quack. So while, no I am not Celiacs, I still have a sensitivity, which is completely valid.
  2. There are always going to be people eating something you can’t have. I do not begrudge those people their gluten at all, it’s just incredibly difficult to watch everyone eat your favorite meal that you cannot eat anymore.

Thus, I have created the How to Cheat your Gluten-free Diet instructional blog post:

  1. Go to grocery store and refuse any special food for yourself, as you would feel bad and believe in your self control to get through the night of endless cookies. You don’t need them anyway.
  2. Make it through an entire container of cookies without having a bite. The chances are good, the lookout is bright. You can do this.
  3. The second box opens. Crap. You really want that Publix cookie right about now.
  4. You stare and likely drool as the box is passed from friend to friend, cookies awaiting their destiny.
  5. Crash! Burn! You reach for a cookie.
  6. You eat seven.
  7. You go home and eat a sleeve of thin mints.
  8. You eat two pieces of toast and jam.
  9. You immediately regret all of the above decisions. Curse your stomach and its weak will!
  10. You have a love/hate relationship with your body as your stomach goes into dark times, but at least it was worth it. You had lots of cookies.

Signed,

A very sad girl who’s stomach betrays her for her glutinous eating.

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