Posts lately have been few and far between. I swear I have a good excuse: my house hasn’t had internet in a week. This makes posting to a blog extra difficult. But as I have not posted regularly in a few days, here is what has been happening in my life.
Life has gone between really good and really bad. There has been no in between.
I’ve had a solid group of friends that I have gotten to bond with and enjoy the company of since I’ve come home. So on the bright side I have had something to do every night this week. I find that social interactions make this whole process a little less suckish, so I try to include them as often as possible.
At the same time though I’ve gone through some of the most depressed moods I have ever experienced this week. I didn’t know it was possible to feel so worthless that you literally don’t want to exist anymore. It’s a real thing, and I’m so glad I’m not where I was a few days ago. I spent hours crying, talking to therapists and psychiatrists, and wishing I would simply cease to exist. But here I am, existing.
This morning the sixth internet-fixer-man came to the house. The internet appears to be fixed…for now…