Updates on my life

Last week I had a doctor’s appointment. We trekked about three hours north to Jacksonville to see Dr. Fred Kusimoto, a cardiologist that specializes in disautonomia at Mayo Clinic. I’ve had a cardiologist since I can remember, however he was a pediatric cardiologist and not particularly well versed in whatever is wrong with me. As Dr. Kusimoto said “POTS has an s on the end, syndrome, it means we doctors don’t know what the H-E-L-L is wrong with you”. POTS is my likely diagnosis. However, before he’ll officially “diagnose” me, he wants to run a 20 day holter to check my Premature Ventricular Contractions (fancy lingo for “your heart gets too excited and beats before it’s supposed to sometimes). For those of you who’s hearts are in good health that means heart monitor. I will wear a heart monitor for 20 days. Along with the heart monitor I now get to wear compression stockings, the hottest new trend, particularly useful for squeezing the “H-E-L-L” out of your legs, and keeping all the blood and liquid that all falls to my feet circulating through the rest of my body. Fun stuff.


On Sunday I had the largest and worst panic attack I’ve ever had. We’re talking two hours of crying and shaking and feeling like you’re going to vomit or possibly die. It was especially great timing because it started as soon as I got to David’s house. He spent about an hour cuddling me and telling me it would be okay and kissing the tears off my cheeks before he drove me home (because I thought I might vomit and thought maybe vomiting would be better at home). Once home I spent another hour crying and shaking whilst my dad rubbed my back and my mom tried to distract me before I became consolable. Then I took a nap. 

Why did I have this panic attack? Your guess is as good as mine. Ugh, bipolar disorder. 


This week I started college again, my first class since January. I’m taking Fundamentals of Biology and so far it is the easiest thing I’ve been in since middle school. We did a ten page lab today on metric conversion and scientific notation…

All is well though because there are only 14 of us and the teacher is funny and super chill and I didn’t really want anything too hard anyway. 

Today he spent an hour talking about his life. We were particularly okay with this because it’s a three hour class.


Last night I saw STRFKR in concert. It was awesome. I will have to write an entire post dedicated to that one happening tomorrow. 


2 thoughts on “Updates on my life

  1. I’m so sorry you had such a rough panic attack. I’ve been there.
    I learned something new that helps.
    Dunk your face in a sink of freezing cold ice water and hold your breath as long as possible. Breathe ,repeat
    It actually is a biophysical rxn that can stop the attack. It actually works, try it next time


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