Okay is okay

It’s my first day with anything resembling a clear mind, free of medicine induced fog. I got to end my trial of Corlafor, as it made me feel terrible -mentally and physically. My inability to function and crappy past week have, however, left me feeling less than great in the mood department as well. I’m depressed. My family can tell. I sleep for hours: 11-13 a night, I’m not particularly hungry, I walk around in a bit of a haze contemplating my existence and the woes associated. I’m sure my affect is rather blank. I’ve got the bipolar blues. Thank you, Corlanor, for actually making everything worse. 

I probably ought to go see my therapist now, only she tends to side with me and agree that my problems are something that would be depressing. Best I can tell, all I can really fix about my issues is not to think about them. But when I do? Splash zone. David’s shoulder: number 1 catcher of Susannah tears. 

Ahh, if only life were easy. But alas. At least today I got to go off my meds. At least today I watched Men in Black with David and Liz all snuggled up between them, two of my favorite people. At least I got to get frozen yogurt. At least I’m okay. Okay is okay. And for now, as I see how the medicine wears off, and how quickly I can bounce back, and how quickly I can put aside my problems, okay will have to do. 

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