I’ve been having some serious sleep issues – and by that I mean I’ve been sleeping about 12 hours a night, and if I sleep less I have to take a nap. What is that all about, body? Because I am not about it. It is impeding upon my life and I do not approve.
This past week it’s been getting in the way of the volunteer work that I’ve been doing. Tuesday I physically couldn’t wake up in time to go. Today was a bit different, I had to stay home and care for Elizabeth, who’s had a migraine for a week and a half. Tomorrow I’m supposed to have her to school by 9:30-10 and then make it to my volunteer place. Hopefully I’ll make it.
I’m trying to figure out what exactly is causing it. I recently pushed my medications to about 9 pm, so that I didn’t crash and burn every night at 8. I’m hoping that’s not what’s causing the sleeps. If so I’m not at all sure what to do about it. There’s no way to win there.
I’ve recently been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do in the coming year: if I want to finish my degree, or AA at least, at the community college, or if I should seek scholarships and try to transfer to the nearby four year – or if I should put my energy in a completely different direction. Right now I think the ideas are so open that I can’t decide.
My health is obviously a big factor. I’m not at all healthy enough to pursue much of anything at the moment. I’ve had to let go of POTS to deal with bipolar, and the POTS and fibro are playing their role in my demise. I’m deconditioned but lack the energy to recondition myself. It’s a vicious cycle. But assuming I get all that together I’m still not sure.
I don’t really like the idea of going to EFSC that much, my time there was okay, but also depressing in a way that’s hard to explain. At the same time it’s cheap and easy. However, when I think about having to transfer I don’t like that option either. The fact of the matter is I need help to do normal things like laundry and cook, stack that on top of school work? No thank you. Though I’d be lying if I didn’t say the biggest turn off for transferring is the thought of having to go long distance. I couldn’t very well ask David to up and move with me, and I can’t stand long distance. Not that I wouldn’t, I would, it would just be a big weight of suck that I’d really rather not put on my shoulders.
So that’s what’s going on up in my brain right now. What do? How get well?
I say David and I just convert a bus into a house and go on a massive road trip whilst creating various pieces of art through writing and music and whatnot. Yep. That sounds good.