What do?

When I got sick I feel like I lost a lot of what defined me other than “sick”. I played the oboe still, and I rode along letting oboe define my instruments, peaking at the top of the umbrella of music that I associated myself with. I said “I am a music major”, and as most music majors do I completely immersed myself into that culture and let go of all else that interested me. This started particularly early, eleventh grade probably, around when I got sick, as I had to prepare for the ever coming college auditions. 

Now, I’m a nearly 20 year old, living at home, with nothing to do, save hang out with her boyfriend and friends and I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life. I’ve talked and talked with David about it: “what do you think I should do?” But really it’s me who needs to figure out what I should do, I’ll be the one stuck doing it. So here I am, 19, trying to figure out what I’m interested in, what I like, what characteristics define me, so that I can figure out what to do with my life, and yeesh, it’s hard. I like books, movies, I like music, vinyl, drawing, makeup, clothes. I think. I’ve always wanted to be an author, but would I rather sing? Or teach? Or none of the above? Ugh. 


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