Thankfulness

Today was a good day for the most part. I saw my best friend for the first time since we went up to Tallahassee, I hung out with David, I got to wear a pretty new bra, I ate gluten free apple crisp. So why is it that halfway through the day my brain decided I needed to be depressed? I feel very woe-is-me at the moment, which is not a great feeling. It’s like I’m empty and I’m left here trying to pick up the pieces to figure out where I went wrong. But I didn’t, I didn’t do anything. That’s the thing about bipolar disorder that gets me. I can track my mood all I want, I can even track what triggers mood changes or depression or mania, but no matter what I always have random mood changes that I can’t attribute a cause to. Best I can tell when I hit my head today (I fell and hit my forehead pretty hard today) my mood began to go from quite good to bleh. Maybe if I hit my head again it’ll reverse? If only. 

In other news thanksgiving is tomorrow which means food! Also shopping (the next day). Thanksgiving reminds me of how I should probably eat more and make sure I keep enough fuel in me, Black Friday reminds me that I have no money. Also, isn’t it just a little funny that the day after we’re “thankful” we go and buy all the things? Like I’m super thankful for everything I have but also hold up let me tackle someone at Walmart for a laptop. Sounds really thankful. 

In the spirit of thanksgiving here’s what I’m thankful for: a God that loves and forgives, my family, David, friends, shelter/food/clothes, and bipolar medication. 

That’s all folks! 

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