What to expect when you’re…bipolar. 

I’ve had a pretty rough week, as evidenced by my previous post. I didn’t really get out of bed Monday – at all. Tuesday I called the psychiatrist. Wednesday I saw said psychiatrist and we decided to give depakote another go, as we are running out of options. So hopefully when it comes in to Publix tomorrow it won’t make me vomit again. We’re going with a much lower dose this time, so fingers crossed. 

This week has been a test of will and I’ve just spent it trying to get out of this agitated, depressed, mixed mood I’ve been going through. Though, with bipolar I find it’s more distract, than get out of. That’s the thing though, I don’t know what to expect. Should I just expect to have to distract my entire life? I hardly know anyone being treated for bipolar disorder, so I don’t know who to ask. What is functioning with bipolar disorder? What’s normal? Is slightly depressed or slightly manic just the way it is? I’m getting yet another therapist, maybe that will help. 

Anyway, Christmas is coming. In festivity, David and I went to the local tree lighting tonight. It was a tad windy, and right on the river, and I was not dressed for the nippiness that ensues, but we took a cute picture by a Christmas tree. So there’s that. 

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2 thoughts on “What to expect when you’re…bipolar. 

  1. You have us. The online community of bloggers with bipolar. You can ask whatever you want to and I’m sure people will share their experiences. It’ll be different for each person but I’m sure it’ll help.
    Personally for me it’s not distract as much as find a way around. Loads of the bipolar systems stop me from being functional. So now, I’m trying to find work arounds for everything. I also realised that dealing with any baggage from the past, mostly abusive ones in any form, help reduce the intensity of the symptoms. They helped me tremendously.
    I use my blog as a vent. So my posts might not be an indication of how much better I’ve become. But from being a completely dependent highly medicated with daily therapy sessions life where I didn’t interact with anyone other than my ex and my therapist… I now live alone without meds or therapy, do projects when I can and have been traveling and staying in another city just for experiences since 3 months, where I even go to the crowded local market.
    Not possible everyday but you have to know how dysfunctional I was to realise how far ahead I’ve come.
    So hang in there. Be realistic about your capabilities and limitations… Then you can find work arounds for everything. Good luck 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Cute picture!

    Sometimes I think normal is a phantom, because if you look on social media, “normal” appears to be people in movie-perfect relationships with perfect jobs and fabulous lives. You see highlight reels instead of behind the scenes. Then, in the blog world, sometimes people (and I do this too!) use their blog as a place to feel safe in their “behind the scenes” parts of life. So THEN it looks like having a mental illness is the worst thing ever.

    Personally, I think normal is different for each person, but it should live in the space where life is consistently worth living. There are good days and bad days, there are struggles because of an illness, but at the end of the day you can say, “this is worth it.” Once I could get there, things started feeling a lot more “normal” for me.

    Liked by 1 person

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