*witty title*

Life has been really getting me down lately. I won’t even know it too, that is until I start uncontrollongly sobbing. David kept asking me today: “you okay?” “What’s wrong?” And I was like: “I’m fine”, and then he tried to make me watch a documentary on smash bros. and my world crumbled before my eyes and I sobbed about how terrible my life is for a solid five minutes. David’s great, of course, and he just cuddled me and told me that it was the bipolar low talking, and I know I’m depressed right now, and that’s all fine and good, but when the only thing you like about your life is your boyfriend I feel like you must be doing something wrong. I hate school, and that’s what I spend the vast majority of my time doing. My classes are not interesting, my school is sad, I have like two friends. It’s all just suckish. And I think to myself, is it really worth it? Am I not listening, does God want something else of me? What am I doing wrong? Why do I feel the urge to cry all the time. I know it’s the depression, and I’m probably right where I’m supposed to be in life, but dang. When do I get to enjoy what I do again? Does everyone hate school and dread the thought of leaving their bed in the morning? It worries me, and I shouldn’t worry, but in a few months I’m going to live an hour away to attend a school. What if I hate it too? 

Ahh. 

Woe is me, right? 

Anyway, life isn’t all crying and sad stuff. My therapist says I have to do something for me everyday. It gives me a really good excuse to watch the office/take a nap every day. Gotta “treat myself”, oops, wrong show. Oh, and I’m leading worship Sunday! Two good things, two good things. 

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4 thoughts on “*witty title*

      1. Totally! I find it really hard to remember (I am reminding you at the same time as I am reminding myself)! That’s why community is so important… because sometimes we don’t have the strength to fight the lies on our own and we need a little help from someone else. So just remember… you are not alone in this!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Trust me, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Even without being bipolar, you’d probably still feel this way. Everyone has periods where they are in situations that are difficult, uncomfortable, or just all around crappy, and that’s totally normal. It’s normal to be upset about it too, because that’s what drives you to keep going to get out of the situation and move on to something better. Think of it like a cocoon period; you have to go through a little discomfort before things are ready to move forward. Besides, the down times are there so you can really appreciate it all that much more when the good stuff comes along. Love you kiddo 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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